Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Rough draft of scene 1

I need to re-write a few things and shorten it down but here is a rough draft of scene 1








The Champion Eater (Working title)















































INT.BASEMENT-DUSK

FADE-IN

In the distance, a secluded house, out in the middle of a
quite suburban-like neighborhood, closing in onto two young
men who are conversing in,they both are wearing white short
sleeve shirts that are tapped with the numbers 8 and 19,
number 8 proceeds to this...

NUMBER 8

Ah did you hear?

NUMBER 19

Hear what?

NUMBER 8

He’s coming!

NUMBER 19

Whose coming?

(Pause)

NUMBER 8

OMG! OMMFG! I can’ believe this! You really don’t know who
is? Oh man...he’s only like, the greatest binge eater
known to man, I mean...rumor has it

DRAMATIZATION:

Closing in onto an assortment of hot dogs, hamburgers, along
with other delicious food products, and so forth.

Con.

NUMBER 8

He eaten eight-teen hot dogs, forty-three hamburgers, and
ninety-nine scorpion bowls

Then coming in from the distance, is a figure of man

Number 19

Wow!

NUMBER 8

(CONTINUED)


CONTINUED: 2.



There he is! it’s him!

Getting closer, the person makes their way pass the two men
looking like a figure of Iconic stature, with a flamboyant
gem stone green bathrobe, giant leopard skin shades, a pink
baseball cap, and gold jewelry hanging from the neck down
onto the fingers. He reaches in his robe pocket to take out
a wad of cash and throws two 20 dollar bills at their faces.

The person who is to be revealed as a male, as he walks up
slowly, he has duffel bag on the side, facing one another,
numbers 8 and 19 get up and head into the basement which is
Encased in darkness and with a dimmer of light spotting
through the crevice of a door to the far left this extremely
clustered basement; grimy space, from the distance, shaking,
sweat, pacing and panting, occupies the contestants Cursing
with fury, are the lead players, getting ready to compete in
a contest of guts and will, glory and honor, food and farts.
in another part of the house.

Then, walking in as if he owned the spot,in a slow dramatic
fashion, is Leo Mars, Leo proceeds to say this as whispers
of fear occur, goes over to take a take a seat with his legs
on the table and Leo proceeds to this...

LEO

Men, men, I can already tell you who your winner is, and I
would say your best bet is on me! all of it! on me! fore I
will

(Mutters in the background)

The lights are set, plates of nice, warm, hot dogs, are
being aliened, set in place for each chair that awaits the
people who are about to sit there

Con.

LEO

So if you all can do me the favor of leaving and bringing
the gear you brought here back to the depths of hell from
once it came, along with those dreams of becoming the next
best thing,

Walking from out the far right, is the Host and Co-chairman
of the event, coming in onto a platform, decked out in
dinner suit, and Microphone in one hand, with his long black
hair and thick mustache, proceeds to this...

HOST


(CONTINUED)


CONTINUED: 3.



Please sit down, as you await for what the organization
calls...a feast of honor, a feast of will, and
feast...of...awww forget it!

if your strapped with cash, the man with the basket will be
walking around and taking your bets. so to my favor, because
we all know a southern man has got to keep his promise, even
tough I’m not southern, I would like to say this...For what
we are about to do.

It can be considered, wasteful. were tyranny is inevitable,
and the rich becoming richer, I would just like to
say...I’m a man of money, not politics, so to my pleasure!
here are the pigs, the slabs of meat that are here to eat
the slop that is given to them.

Now to I won’t name them all but I will name a very special
guest, his name is Leo Mars...and its such a great honor to
have him here, Leo are their any words you like to say?

LEO

Do you all really want to take your chances on these
losers, you all already know who the winner is, so just
place all your bets on me.

As Leo bask in his self-glorification, in a far corner,
pass the the posse of rowdy, money-hungry, men, stands a
young man who wears a white blazer, with cherry red pants,
and a white hat, to his right is a man who wears nothing but
a cowl, hiding his face in the shadow of the hood, While
cracking his neck, and chewing a toothpick while chewing
gum, he proceeds to say this to his aide...

Man

Is it all set?

Aide

Yes Rankin!

He hands him a small bottle

Rankin

Good, It’s our time to shine baby boy! Now what do you do
when win?

Aide

Call you, Rankin the Chief up onto the stage, and let you
make fun out of Leo

(CONTINUED)


CONTINUED: 4.



Rankin the Chief

Yea, yea...and number 9 is gone for good, yea

Pulling up a sign that says number 9

Rankin the Chief

Let’s get to business

Spiting out his Toothpick/gum concoction, he prepares
to yell

Rankin the chief

It seems as tough your missing a contestant, chairman!

The host looks around and recounts, as there are suppose to
be 6 contestants, Leo who is the special guest, numbers 8,
9,16, 17,18, and 19, but 9 is missing.

HOST

Yes, it seems to be we’re missing 9 gentle men, I guess
we’ll just have to...

Interruption

Rankin the chief

Hold on! it’s seems as tough number 9 just ran on out and
passed off his tag to my pal...Kerry

Closing in onto Kerry, he lefts his cowl up from off his
head, and says this

KERRY

Can I take his spot? and how, it would be such a great honor
to eat off with the infamous Leo Mars, and to take his
title as well

Getting up from his position, Leo looks into eyes of KERRY,
with a bewildered look on his face, Leo retorts

LEO

(Laugher) Ha, that’s funny, see! you can think you can take
this title away from me, but that is oh so a pipe dream to
you kiddo.

Looking at the two contenders, the host eases the moment and
says this

(CONTINUED)


CONTINUED: 5.



HOST

Ah screw the other guy, let’s get you in here young man, so
bets on the new number 9 are now! if you think Leo is going
to eat the beating heart of this man, place bets now, bets,
bets, bets, all bets now

Cut-to

The table is set, and the contestants are anxious, looking
down the table is Leo, concerned about his new opponent, he
stares down at the table and contemplates

Flashback:

A young Leo Mars is playing in the park, running around,
smiling

Cut-back-to

Leo as he snaps out of his day dream

The HOST gets ready to lay down the rules

HOST

Now the rules are this, there will be three stages, first
round, who ever is to eat and finish the set number of hot
dogs in a time span of five mins, then you get a chance to
move onto the next round, who ever doesn’t finish in
this set time span will be disqualified and thrown out.

Looking at one another the contestants prepare

the same rules apply if you vomit, if do choose so, please,
there are buckets next to your seats, we don’t want a giant
mess now do we? no! cause first thing first it’s my moms
house, and second, I’ll kick your rumps if you do.

The eyes are locked in, and the pulses race

The next round, you will eat a 2 pound stack along with a 12
litter glass of barbecue sauce, the last two men to
standing, will face off in an endurance battle, going
through the obstacle of eating three boxes of pizza, four
large bowls of chocolate pudding, and a half a water, there
is only one water melon, so who gets to it first and eats
it, wins.

The room goes silent, Rankin nods his head at Kerry, Leo
looks over, Close onto a mysterious man laying up against a
set boxes, hides his face in the shadows, slowly, the Host
says this...

(CONTINUED)


CONTINUED: 6.


HOST

Contestants...on you mark, get set...GO!

The function of time proceeds to slow down, reaching for the
hot dog, Leo grabs the hot dog, and bits into it, then in a
sudden surge, his motion gets faster, and from their on, the
machine went on whipping his opponents away, round by round,
the crowd expresses their blood lust by yelling out
"EAT,EAT" with chants going to Leo, the chomps of hot dog
meat fall from out the mouths of each contestant, then faces
going into bowls of pudding.

SF X

The grinding of teeth, fused with the sound saliva traveling
back and forth into the mouths of each contestant, the sound
of faces hitting the surface of a bowl of pudding

Round 1, 2 go by in the blink of an eye, now the last two
remaining participants are Leo and Kerry, Staring at one
another face to face, coming out is the host, he says this

HOST

Alright, here is out main event, on our left, we have the
infamous, and quite frankly disgusting, Leo Mars, on our
right, we have the almost equally disgusting, Kerry...KERRY!
Yea! men! place your bets now.

In the epic show down, between Leo and Kerry, with the
obstacles set up in a 360 degree line up, the two
contestants start run and eat, going at it, they eat, eat
and eat, The stomach ruptures on both sides of the camp, an
almost lyrical essence of music that arises, kneeling onto
the ground. Leo crawls for his life, same with Kerry, hand
by hand they make their way by the final piece of water
melon until a sharp pain hits onto the ribcage of Leo, he
swroms; moves into the fetal position, and looks on
helplessly as Kerry takes that last bite of water melon,
but then Leo trys to fight off Kerry as he puts it in his
mouth and tries to bit onto it but Kerry then kicks him in
the mouth, and picks up the water melon, eating it, Rankin
the Chief gets onto the stage and says this

RANKIN THE CHIEF

Look at Leo, this is the guy who said he can beat anyone

Closing in onto Leo as Rankin the chief speaks

Con.

RANKIN THE CHIEF

(CONTINUED)


CONTINUED: 7.



Well theirs a new winner...So sad, to bad because we have
KERRY, the barbarion! all hail Kerry!

The crowd chants Kerry, and Rankin the chief basking in their
glory, the lights around Leo goes out, and he lays on the
ground, with a look of awe in his face he stares into the
ceiling

FADE-OUT

SUPERTITlE: THE CHAMPION EATER(WORKING TITLE)

INT-LEO’s HOUSE-DAWN

4 comments:

Oli said...

Interesting. I hope this set and wardrobe look grungy, because in my mind I see Leo in a green bathrobe, a messy person among messier persons. I like it on the whole. This is the first scene? How much more is left to tell, because your first scene sounds as long as my whole film! I can't wait to see how the story develops. Good stuff.

JoE said...

As Oliver suggested, I think this could be a full piece in and of itself. If you want this to be scene 1 of 7 you'll need to scale back the dialogue. Maybe make this more of a montage with a few important lines that we hear from the different characters. The rule section can really get toned down. i like the prose, but it will be a challenge for your actors to perform without a lot of practice, a read through, etc.

I am concerned that you will be able to get your actors as many times as you might need for this whole movie. Other students in the class have been successful scheduling a one day shoot and getting everything they need for that movie in that one day. Looking at our time line, and thinking about the frequency of actors not showing up, I would suggest trying to figure out how to get all of your shots with your actors on one day. Whether that means scaling back the script, or turning this one scene into your movie. In the end, i know you will make a very creative piece. I am just offering up these as suggestions to help keep you from going to crazy during production.

Emishki said...

Good stuff, Branden! This definitely feels like a complete piece--and one you could do really well. Can it be a battle between the two main characters? With an emcee as your kind of narrator? (I wonder if you could do some voiceovers for the emcee-that way your actor doesn't have to memorize that much prose?).

You should listen to a documentary radio piece a friend of mine did on a burrito eating competition - these things are OVER THE TOP, which you've captured in your script. They aren't allowed to say "vomit," but instead say "urges contrary to swallowing." Think Pro Wrestling meets the Food Network. You can listen to it here:
http://www.prx.org/pieces/23507

But you'll need my name/password (or you can sign up for a free account). Come grab me and we'll listen to it together!

Good stuff - can't wait to see how it develops. --erin

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